I can’t believe it has been six months since my last post. I have been completely distracted. My mind has felt scattered for so long now that I have actually felt somewhat distant from God even though I think of him constantly.
In the past six months even though I’ve been able to start exercising again and “stabilize” my life much more by being employed from home, which helps me to be more present for my family, my mind is still so scattered, so worried. I am worried about my country’s future and therefore mine, Jason’s, and all those around us. I worry about what this world has become and is becoming.
I have pretty much stopped watching the news constantly because quite frankly it is depressing, but I can’t stop from reading it, or listening to radio broadcasts to stay informed about the daily deals going on in Washington. As I read and listen I just become so enraged and disgusted that it saddens me. How did America get to the point that those people elected to office with the job of representing our voices, entrusted with our votes, have become such elitists?
I get so angry because people are struggling to make ends meet, to put food on the table, pay the bills, pay for their futures and then some. Almost half the nation is unemployed and not by choice. WE are the ones having to cut back while the Washington elite continue to enjoy the same level of comfort if not more.
I went to mass yesterday and realizing Congress was in the midst of “striking a deal” I felt a little hopeless. Looking out toward our futures, there was no optimism for me as I continued to worry what life will be like after the current administration finally gets done doing their deed. Jason and I have worked hard to live within our means and to really boost our savings. We worked hard to follow all the rules and do what we’re supposed to in order to secure our futures. Maybe we were wrong and should just put it all in our mattress so we don’t end up having to start over?
And then I sat down to listen to God’s Word. My only saving grace.
I heard it in Isaiah (55:2) as He told me, “Why spend your money for what is not bread; your wages for what fails to satisfy? Heed me, and you shall eat well…”
I heard it again in Psalm 145, “The eyes of all look hopefully to you, and you give them their food in due season; you open your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing.”
In Romans (8:35), “What will separate us from the love of Christ?” The answer, nothing. We will overcome everything with Christ at our side.
In the Gospel of Matthew (14), “They all ate and were satisfied…” And still there was more.
Today in Matthew 14 again, I read Jesus’ words, “Take courage, it is I, do not be afraid…Oh you of little faith, why did you doubt?”
Honestly, just when I need God the most, He is always there speaking to me. It amazes me how we hear what we need to in just the right moment. I am not in control. Oh, the elitists might think they are but they aren’t. There is only so much we can do and the rest is up to God. While I am still angry today, I have remembered that whatever is going to be is going to be with or without my worry. We can only do our part to provide, to be active, and make sure our voices are heard all while keeping God in the center of our lives.
God is in the center of mine. I am working on my children. 🙂 I know, I know, I know in my heart, that God is watching and working and that there IS optimism not just for me but for our country. I feel my hope in Him.