It comes from many places. A book. A drawing. A look. A moment. A simple thought. Silence. Not just any silence, the silence that comes from a peaceful inner longing to listen and to hear what is truly going on around you. This time of year, we spend our days wanting and rushing; but for what…to what?
Our lives are wrapped up in keeping up with so many ridiculous demands. During this time of year, around the holidays, I find myself longing for my childhood days when things for me seemed simple and carefree. I find myself longing to give those restful easy moments to my children and yet, it seems so hard to do because we are busy trying to keep up with the many demands of today’s world. For what?
I sit here in the silence after the morning rush. I force myself to turn everything off so that I am alone in my restful thought. I am trying to hear God speak to me, because this holiday should be something more than just rushing and wanting for parties, presents, and good times. It should be a rushing of wanting of knowledge, reflection, and spiritual longing for Christ. I have allowed myself to get caught up in the hedonism and hectic nature of this time of year.
This morning I stopped. I stopped to be in silence. To think about the Immaculate Conception because I was inspired by someone else’s remembrance of this day. I stopped to think about Christ and the meaning of this season. Someone else’s simple thought provides my inspiration. My silence leads me write.
In silence I am surrounded by God. I hear a ticking clock. The whoosh of the cars rushing by outside. The caw of a black bird. The sound of my breath in my ears. In silence, I hear life. I hear God who is life. In silence, I am alone to calm myself and allow myself to let this world slip away and ask God to enter into my mind and my heart so that I can listen to his call. I want to remember Him. I want to long for Him. I want to know Him. It is THIS experience, THIS longing, THIS rushing, THIS wanting that is THE gift that I want to give to my children during this Advent and Christmas season. Not the stuff on which we spent our money. The ability to be inspired by simply being—either alone or with family—to hear God’s call.
How do I give this gift to my children? By trying my best to infuse God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit into every aspect of our lives. Is it working? I don’t know. I do not know if I am succeeding as a good Christian woman on any given day. I can only try and try my best not to be a hypocrite, yet it is so easy to fall into the trappings of society and worldly things. I try to model for them and to bring Christ into our lives. On any given day, I feel like a failure. But I will continue to stop however many times it takes and to ask God for enlightenment and His inspiration so that my children and my husband may be graced with knowing what it is to be loved, truly loved by God.
O God, my heart desires
the warmth of your love,
and my mind is searching
for the light of your Word.
Increase my longing
for Jesus. Amen –Living God’s Word, weekly reflections from Catholicgreetings.org
It is the second week of Advent, which to me is such a special time of year. I hope that everyone becomes inspired by something–whatever that is– to spend this season, not in the stores, but in the meditation and spirit of Advent with a longing to increase in knowledge and love in Christ. We must remember. Remember to prepare our way for the coming of our Lord, Jesus.