Two years ago today…

My daddy past away in his home, in his bedroom, after battling pancreatic cancer for 5 short months. It was the single, most devastating, life altering event for me.

As I sit here and think about it today it feels like an eternity since that event and yet I can remember him taking his last breath as if it just happened. I haven’t cried in a long time because I know in my heart that he is happy and in our Lord’s presence. I have my bible study and growth in God to thank for this comfort I feel. Dad is always with me no matter what I am doing. He is always on my mind. There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think of him. I am always asking myself how he would handle certain situations or what he would say if he were here. I can hear him laughing in my head and sometimes, I even hear him come out of me in the things that I say. I know every time I look at my hands I think of him. My hands are a more feminine version of his—they are rough, hard, big knuckled and nail bitten and I appreciate them because they look just like his.

Dad, I don’t know what you are doing at this moment or how you spend your days, but as for me, I spend them sometimes talking to you; pruning my big willow tree with you; doing little home projects with you; laughing at you; smiling at my children with you; and praying with you. I love and miss you.

Jolinta

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